From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Humorous Wikipedia essay
Editing under the influence
(
EUI
) refers to editing while not in one's usual state of mind, unless
under the influence
is the editor's usual state of mind. This can obviously have a variety of meanings but often results in an editor reviewing their edits the next day and universally proclaiming "I wrote that?!" and back-tracking to either amend or admire their pronouncements of the prior eve.
(The first and
bolded
(or not) twenty-two reasons are from the
original
page.)
- Please add reasons:
To be fair, please add your reason/contribution at the end of the list.
If you are reading this then you
maybe
are suffering
maybe
paranoia
perhaps (or not) ...
These edits may occur as the result of:
- Extreme emotional or giddy disturbance.
- An intense desire to get away from the family right now.
- An
enlightenment
as the result of too much
acetaminophen
.
(In that case you should maybe get your liver checked ... or check if those pills were really what you think they were.)
- Because the
ambien walrus
told me so...
- An excuse to escape from what needs to be done tonight.
- Don't bother me, this is important.
- That last glass of wine made me see things so much more clearly.
- I finally figured out what to say to Jimbo to make him respond.
- Time's running out, I better finish, I'm late for....
- Too late to go to bed anyway so I may as well WP for a while.
- If I look like this is important & intense then they won't bother me.
- Hmmm, TV sucks tonight, I think I'll make the Internet not suck, (Ooooh).
- I'll just keep typing and someday they'll thank me.
- I'm
tired
, hungry, and thirsty, but
6,600,000
is right around the corner.
- I completely forgot to write that thing that I came to write!
- I read about the
Wikipedia widow
thing and that's definitely not me.
- I NEED TO RIGHT, WRITE NOW.
Sorry, I NEED TO WRITE, RIGHT NOW.
Sorry again, but I NEED TO SAY THIS RIGHT NOW.
- I have to keep writing, it's for my kid's future for God's sake.
- I'll need to tell everyone tomorrow what I did for mankind tonight.
- I'll show that user
Raul
that he's ....he's... well...well he knows it all (and he does).
- I came on online to tune my guitar but then... geesh!
- Influence? influence? Who me? No way man. I'm definitely
not
influenced by nobody, ya hear?
- I can do this because I'm gonna
make him an offer
he can't refuse.
- Sandbox
? What sandbox?
- My calculus homework is
impossible
tonight! Maybe some editing will help me think.
- I've had the most unbelievably crap day and fought with everyone. I need to edit so I can cool off.
- Having thought that flame-war over with a drink or three, I've just come up with the most incredibly clever and witty answer
Which unfortunately won't fit in the margin.
- If I don't add one last comment to that closed discussion, I will go insane.
Wait, I'll sort this out, it can't be closed, not now, they didn't even make it grammatical/reach
consensus
/solve
the answer
to
life, the universe and everything
!
- Having your brain smashed out by
a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick
.
- I've drunk ten cups of the strongest coffee, and made the mistake of drinking ten more just so I could hog the coffee table while I edit Wikipedia.
- Editing under influence just because I can.
- I need to listen to all 10,000 songs on my iPod while doing something.
- I need to do something constructive, and Wikipedia just happens to be something I can construct something on, therefore counting as being constructive.
- My pet hamster is hogging the TV because it's time to watch
Airplane!
- I have extreme diarrhea and am not wanting to do homework.
- I need to educate future generations about editing under the influence.
- I am in the middle of law school finals, I edit to think about something else.
- I am in the middle of mastering my "English Lit" major with Arts minor. I can idly ad lib ad infinitum with
essayist
flair.
- Because I just read the whole list and still don't understand what "hogging" means...
(Praise
Urban Dictionary
!)
- PornHub
is offline, so I have to release some steam by editing.
- What else am I supposed to do when I had one too many shots and gotta take a poopsy?
- As usual, I was not in my usual state of mind when editing Wikipedia, as I only ever do that when perceiving Reality, which is of course an Illusion caused by having too much
blood in my alcohol stream
, and an Illusion which I have now happily fixed, although letting you know any of this will undoubtedly now get me indefinitely banned as a truly wicked
Defender of The Truth
.
- Those muscle relasxants I took are for bedtime pills and they;er gonna to knock me flat and I gotta gert to bed befor thy do, but I can prop myslef up on tee deskl lung enoug to finsh rthis eidt.
- Because
the government is turning the frogs gay
and you can't think with all the gay frogs everywhere.
- You watched old reruns of
The Colbert Report
and followed his instructions on
wikiality
and therefore vandalized the WP page on
Elephants
.
- Fortnite
servers are down and you don't have a
girlfriend
to talk to, so you might as well vandalise
Epic Games
's page.
- Brexit
is getting far too complicated for me and my brain, so why not clear AN ENTIRE PAGE? Oooo, what a great idea! Not.
- Some years ago ? never mind how long precisely ? having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world
- You feel offended that Wikipedia does not have a page for one of the characters in that indie game you really like.
- The marijuana you just smoked is making you paranoid that someone on the Internet may be wrong. If you just edit Wikipedia, they'll finally understand (or something)
- I have a photo to add to
Erection
that is far better than all other examples.
- I had to do it, or the voices wouldn't stop!
- 99 bottles of beer on the wall...
- iPhone
not responding, becomes frozen, screen red and blue, stripes.
- I'm stuck at home because of the
COVID-19 pandemic
and have absolutely nothing to do.
- There is no guide to solving my
Rubik's Cube
, so I should
delete the main page
.
- You decide to read random stuff?but there has to be a comma here. Why is there no comma here?! Hours later, I'm still here, fixing random stuff.
- Staying up to make sure you're gonna be the one who does the one billionth edit.
- I'm too couch-locked to head to the bathroom, but not too couch-locked to edit some articles, but I really need to pee...oh god oh g
- Sleeping and not editing for a week makes you bored, and being bored makes your articles boring, so doing things the other way should make your articles less boring, and interesting articles get featured, so not sleeping at all because you drank pure caffeine should get all your articles featured! That's how logic works, right?
- AGHHH! The stupid
Cowboys
lost again! Dammit! I'm gonna give
Jerry Jones
a piece of my mind
! Wait, how many
Bud Lights
did I drink again?
- it's 11 pm, i'm on my phone, i notice something that's a glaring error, attempt (<- key word) to fix it, don't press show preview, publish the change, then sleep.
- it's like 2-3 am and my step dad invited me to an internet cafe. i felt like games are boring so i decided to go edit a few wiki articles
- (In the morning) I'm sorry, but I forgot to remember to remind myself that I have to finish editing the main page. Hey, where's the main page gone...?
- That crazy bitch
took Johnathan
from me,
so I have nothing to pet.
I'm already drunk,
and fucking sick of
circuit editing.
How about editing
Wikipedia?
- Catching the
flu
or
some mysterious illness
.
- Just had a tooth pulled, maybe
deleting the main page
will help me get through it.
- I'm getting
bullied
by Johnathan, I should get back at him by
editing
my school districts page.
- Something very exciting or important happened, and you feel strongly because of it.
- An elongated nonsensical reason that in reality, is just an excuse to make this list not end with the
hilarious number
and ruin everyone's day.
- Another nonsensical reason made solely to potentially extend the list to the second
hilarious number
and be funny.
- MUST
HYPERLINK
EVERYTHING!!!!
EUI may result in unintentional
disruptive editing
; misedit(s); unpremeditated
reverts
,
deletion nomination
, or anything of the sort. This might cause misunderstanding among
Wikipedians
, whom everyone considers each other in a normal state of editing. If done several times, an unwanted
block from editing
might be done.
Self-awareness and self-control are very required (i.e. making an edit schedule to prevent possible EUI) to refine or lessen the unintended results of your self-administered adventure in
altered states of consciousness
or
unconsciousness
. They can also help as a preventative measure for people who have not gotten EUI, although the
Pledge of Tranquility
may help.
|
---|
|
|
|
|
---|
- Adminitis
- Akin's Laws of Article Writing
- Alternatives to edit warring
- ANI flu
- Anti-Wikipedian
- Anti-Wikipedianism
- Articlecountitis
- Asshole John rule
- Assume bad faith
- Assume faith
- Assume good wraith
- Assume stupidity
- Assume that everyone's assuming good faith, assuming that you are assuming good faith
- Avoid using preview button
- Avoid using wikilinks
- Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
- Barnstaritis
- Before they were notable
- BOLD, revert, revert, revert
- Boston Tea Party
- Butterfly effect
- CaPiTaLiZaTiOn MuCh?
- Complete bollocks
- Counting forks
- Counting juntas
- Crap
- Don't stuff beans up your nose
- Don't-give-a-fuckism
- Don't abbreviate "Wikipedia" as "Wiki"!
- Don't delete the main page
- Editcountitis
- Edits Per Day
- Editsummarisis
- Editing Under the Influence
- Embrace Stop Signs
- Emerson
- Fart
- Five Fs of Wikipedia
- Seven Ages of Editor, by Will E. Spear-Shake
- Go ahead, vandalize
- How many Wikipedians does it take to change a lightbulb?
- How to get away with UPE
- How to put up a straight pole by pushing it at an angle
- How to vandalize correctly
- How to win a citation war
- Ignore all essays
- Ignore every single rule
- Is that even an essay?
- Mess with the templates
- My local pond
- Newcomers are delicious, so go ahead and bite them
- Legal vandalism
- List of jokes about Wikipedia
- LTTAUTMAOK
- No climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man
- No one cares about your garage band
- No one really cares
- No, really
- No sorcery threats
- Notability is not eternal
- Oops Defense
- Play the game
- Please be a giant dick, so we can ban you
- Please bite the newbies
- Please do not murder the newcomers
- Pledge of Tranquility
- R-e-s-p-e-c-t
- Requests for medication
- Requirements for adminship
- Rouge admin
- Rouge editor
- Sarcasm is really helpful
- Sausages for tasting
- The Night Before Wikimas
- The first rule of Wikipedia
- The Five Pillars of Untruth
- Things that should not be surprising
- The WikiBible
- Watchlistitis
- Wikipedia is an MMORPG
- WTF? OMG! TMD TLA. ARG!
- What Wikipedia is not/Outtakes
- Why not create an account?
- Yes legal threats
- You don't have to be mad to work here, but
- You should not write meaningless lists
|
|
|
|
---|
About essays
| |
---|
Policies and guidelines
| |
---|
|
|