Dear Governor-elect Rauner,

It's been 24 years since the Wet Bandits first were caught — if not red-handed — then torched, wounded, fractured and likely suffering brain damage from blunt-force trauma and arrested at a north suburban home by police wearing patches with the city of Chicago flag on their jackets.

You can bet your Rosebud that few are likely to confuse "The Interview" with "Citizen Kane," at least based on the early reviews.

"If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas," the now-familiar spiky-haired boy said on Dec. 17, 1989. "It happened to Tiny Tim. It happened to Charlie Brown. It happened to the Smurfs. And it's going to happen to us."

The leaked documents, with Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen and James Franco cast as clowns, may at times make it all seem like a comedy.

When Gus in accounts receivable uses the wrong form, Gladys messes up work assignments or Norm boots a sure sale, your firm's retired equivalents of Doug Buffone and Ed O'Bradovich aren't on the radio rending garments and bemoaning what they've done to a once-proud institution.

Chicago is raising its minimum hourly wage to $13 … by the middle of 2019.

Should China flex its muscle on trade or engage the United States in some kind of new cold war, it would be nothing to sneeze at, yet there's reason to believe we would prevail. China would chip. China would crack. China would break.