It was the best Oscar show in two decades. Maybe even in 25 years, which transports us all the way back to "The Sting" and David Niven arching his eyebrow at a streaker.

You knew last night's telecast was going to be good when that harbinger of all things screwy, Cher, sauntered into the Shrine Auditorium in a get-up that looked as if Busby Berkeley had upchucked on her head.

"Who else but Cher?" said the ABC announcer, plowing ahead with the introductions. Who else, indeed?

It's not that the Oscars were tacky. They weren't, at least no more than is unavoidable for Hollywood.

This year, in a ceremony that stretched to more than three hours and 45 minutes, Hollywood whistled and applauded its dead -- but didn't Jimmy Stewart and Robert Mitchum deserve a little more? -- and celebrated the living with a curious mixture of high glamour and low necklines.

And it was the most thoroughly entertaining cocktail in all those years of Oscars.

There was graciousness ( Helen Hunt 's generous acceptance speech), shock ( Kim Basinger 's stunned "Oh my God!" while hubby Alec Baldwin clapped a hand over his mouth), a schlocky gimmick ( Mike Myers interacting with a trick bear) and ageless charm (director Stanley Donen snuggling his lifetime achievement award while hoofing "Cheek to Cheek").

And good for supporting actor winner Robin Williams , who seemed genuinely choked up when he looked skyward and said, "I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor said, 'Wonderful, just have a backup profession, like welding.' "

The two signature presences seemed to be Jack Nicholson , front and center in the auditorium and somehow telling everyone they were all kin at the same reunion ritual, and Dustin Hoffman , who suggested that things needn't get messy but ought be be roguishly untidy.

Nicholson conga-danced to the stage to accept the third Academy Award of his career, for "As Good as It Gets," and kept the night's clubbiness going with a salute to the good friends who were his fellow best-actor nominees.

Hoffman had been onstage earlier to introduce a fabulous montage of clips from 69 best-picture winners -- this year was the 70th annual Academy Awards -- and to wonder "if that number is as significant internationally as it is here at home."

(Hoffman raffishly signaled his mood in the pre-Oscar show when Roger Ebert snared him on his way into the -- auditorium, asked him about his chances and Hoffman said, "I went to the proctologist last week and I got a thumb's up." Ebert seemed to stumble on the right reply: "Oh, that is an inside joke.")

Well, maybe three signature presences. A year ago, Billy Crystal returned to host his fifth Oscar telecast after a three-year layoff, and he seemed tense and just plain rusty.

RAZOR SHARP

But last night, Crystal was back in razor form. He launched the show with a crafty film sequence in which he was edited into the year's best- picture nominees and generally slapped around, strangled, throttled and head-dunked in a toilet.

It was a splendid opening, and Crystal followed it with his own tradition of a song and dance salute to the nominated films. Not great, but good. It's a routine that's grown stale, but you'd still be disappointed if he didn't do it.

I say sign Crystal to a lifetime performance contract and forget the Davids and Whoopis. In our times, there's simply no one better for the job.

Producer Gil Cates once again avoided the plump production numbers, and wisely so. Instead he subbed a short but satisfying choreography number for the nominated comedy scores, and later the novelty of an en masse appearance by several dozen previous Oscar-winning actors and actresses.

PEACE AT THE AWARDS

The threatened TV disruption by members of the National Association of Broadcast Employees & Technicians ( NABET ) never materialized.

The union members, who are in a labor contract dispute with ABC, were replaced ahead of the show by workers from the International Alliance of Theatrical and Stage Employees .