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I removed this section, which is pretty funny. Unfortunately it's not true:
Little known outside of the area of Loudon, Tennessee is an incident where the
Nazi
army invaded the small American town in an attempt to seize large amounts of the advanced technology of
Atlantis
.
Adolf Hitler
theorized that Atlantis had in fact sunk underground where Loudon was built on top of.
General
Stephen Douglas
, who also ran for the
presidency
under the
Democratic
ticket, commanded
Allied
forces while
Felix the Cat
, a
cartoon
character of the
1920s
, headed the Nazi army.
When the town was faced with the
blitzkrieg
, panic erupted amongst the startled townspeople, mostly consisting of
white
Baptists
and some
niggers
. As the
Luftwaffe
bombarded local churches and bars, General Douglas summoned the power of
Godzilla
, who easily swatted the planes from the air. As Godzilla's attempts to stop the Nazis proved to be fruitful, local folklore says the Felix the Cat screamed "BRIDENKREUGMENTARGENZ." Loudonians have sinced named a street accordingly in a mainly
Hispanic
neighborhood.
However, the Nazis exposed Godzilla's weakness as being
blues
music. They imported a famous
Scottish
blues singer,
Smitty McWetBiscuits
, who graciously wailed on a nearby
church organ
. Godzilla exploded in
sound waves
which secured the fact that all Loudonians contract
testicular cancer
(even in females) for the next four
centuries
. McWetBiscuits' gracious wailing was ended abruptly by Bruce Lee who just demanded plainly that he stop.
The battle ensued for over three months, the forces of
Imperial Japan
,
Fascist Italy
,
Great Britain
, and the
USSR
even being included in it. The battle ended when
Jesus Christ
emerged from the Heavens with the ancient Atlantian technology in hand. He forced each of the armies to their respective countries with a quirking of the brow and then erased everyone's memory with the help of an
android
Bigfoot
nearby. This story is also told in
Dietetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health
by
Scientology
founder
L. Ron Hubbard
, the
Book of Mormon
, and by indigenous Indian tribes in
South Africa
.
- Just want to comment on this section. Must be an April Fools joke, or are Stephen Colbert's operatives invading Wikipedia again.
96.3.72.93
(
talk
) 21:56, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
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